Performance is not Peace

My body became a shrine to survival; each muscle a memory, each pose a plea.

Applause became permission. Stillness became safety.

This body trained diligently – Muscle control. Focus. Engage. Hold form. Strong core. Soft face. Light arms. Poise.

Still body-fast mind. Fast body-still mind.

But trauma is stored. And an actor’s body is prepared for war.

Yet, performance is not peace.

I am unlearning the altar. Unlocking the gates to inprisoned secrets held in a tightly wound core.

Letting it return to its rightful rhythm. Un-conditioning my body – one trained to obey breath, correct form, engage centre, so acutely aware, not missing a beat. Ready! Responsive! Alert!

This is release. This is unfamiliar. Soft. Relaxed. Unveiling. A rush.

Let the blood flow.